Self Care: Moving Past the Bubble Baths

Have you ever been told to practice self care? If you're an adult in the US then the answer is likely 'yes'. And what do you imagine when you think of self care? Images of pampering like bubble baths, herbal tea, reading a good book, or maybe even a weekend away? While there's nothing wrong with these things, they don't truly get at the core of caring for ourselves.

True Self Care: Moving Beyond Bubble Baths

When I talk about self care, what I’m referring to is prioritizing your basic human need for rest, joy, peace, social connection, and health and nourishment. Before I get into explaining each of these, I want to talk about why it’s important. All of us have an imaginary cup. It holds all of our physical, mental, and emotional energy. There are times in our lives when this cup seems bottomless. And there are times in our life when it feels quite small. There are things that take from that cup like chores, a stressful job, difficult people, bills, traffic, pain and health problems. And there are things that add to our cup like hobbies, support from a loved one, comfort in your faith, and sleep. If your cup is empty you can’t function- you’re physically exhausted, you can’t think straight, and emotions like anger, resentment, depression, or hopelessness may creep up or overwhelm you. By understanding how our daily activities and interactions impact our cup, we can better appreciate the importance of consistently engaging in true self-care practices.

I break self care up into 5 basic human needs: rest, joy, peace, social connection, and health and nourishment. 

Rest

Rest is necessary for your physical, mental, and emotional wellness. A good night’s sleep is foundational self-care, so make sure you are prioritizing good sleep. Even if you are getting a full night’s sleep you still need rest throughout the day. We're humans, not machines, and we are not designed to work all day every day. Here are some ways to rest physically and mentally.

• Lay down for 10+ minutes

• Turn your phone on silent for a few hours

• Call on your village- ask for help, delegate a task

• Say ‘no’ to something or someone. Even saying no to something on your to do list. Your well being is more important than folding laundry.

• Practice mindfulness, which simply means intentionally being aware of the present moment without judgment. Practicing mindfulness regularly, even for a little bit, has been scientifically proven to decrease anxiety and depression, improve mood, improve memory and focus, improve immune function, and overall helps your brain work better

Joy

Joy is not indulgent or frivolous. Happiness and contentment cannot exist if you do not have joy in your life. Your cup cannot be full if you don’t have joy. Sources of joy vary from one person to the next and can shift over time. Often, adults set aside joy in an effort to be more productive or because they routinely put the care of others' first. Here are some ways to explore what brings you joy:

• Laughing- find and cultivate what makes you laugh

• Hobbies

• Good food or food shared with others

• Good memories, nostalgia

• Play- think about how you played as a child and how you can recreate that as an adult

• New experiences and adventure

• Creativity

Peace

Peace is how I refer to the things that nourish your soul and help you feel centered. This may include:

• Nature

• Faith or spirituality

• Spending time with animals

• Meditation

• Creativity

• Quiet and solitude

• Self-compassion

• Gratitude

Social Connection

As humans, we are designed to connect with others. Companionship and community are important to our overall well-being. In our modern world, it can be difficult to find community, and loneliness has become a pervasive issue in this country. Here are some ways you can foster connections:

• Making a plan to connect with existing supportive friends and family regularly.

• Join a club or group that meets regularly (i.e. book club, pickleball group, crafting class). Local libraries and local continuing education schools are great resources.

• Find your "third space"- a place other than home or work that you visit regularly and might connect with others at.

• Make an effort to hug the people in your life more often.

Health & Nourishment

If you have heard of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, then you know that meeting our basic physical needs is essential before we can hope to successfully meet our emotional needs. Prioritizing your own health and nutrition needs is also a powerful act of self love. This includes:

• Movement- daily exercise seems like an impossible feat for some, so just begin with what feels reasonable. Go for a quick walk, do some stretches before bed, or any way you can intentionally and mindfully move your body.

• Eating- eating regularly and eating foods that nourish your body is important. You are worth setting aside time to plan, shop for, prepare, and eat nourishing foods.

• Sleep- I cannot overemphasize the importance of sleep for your emotional and cognitive health. Practicing and prioritizing good sleep habits is great self care.

• Take time for personal hygiene.

• Seek medical care when needed.

True self-care goes beyond the occasional indulgence; it's about consistently nurturing our fundamental needs for rest, joy, peace, social connection, and health. By recognizing and prioritizing these needs, we fill our cup and maintain our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. The journey to self-care is personal and unique to each individual, but the core principles remain the same. Embrace self-care as a vital part of your daily life, and you'll find yourself better equipped to face life's challenges with resilience and grace. Remember, taking care of yourself is not a luxury—it's a necessity. So, what steps will you take today to start filling your cup?